The Psychology of Weight Loss: How to Overcome Negative Self-Talk

If you've tried every diet and exercise plan and can't lose weight, there may be a psychological block in your way. Weight loss is an uphill battle for just about everyone, but those dealing with emotional struggles may have more difficulty reaching their goal.

The first step to a healthy resolution is identifying the issue. Learning more about the psychology of weight loss can help you discover that there is more than one roadblock to address. The good news is, however, that these hurdles are surmountable. 

Common Psychological Blocks

The psychology of weight loss works against you in some ways and for you in others. In order to get past your roadblock, you'll first need to figure out what that roadblock is.

All-or-Nothing Thinking

If you find yourself walking a thin line between sticking to your food plan perfectly or falling off the wagon completely, you may be experiencing a cognitive distortion called all-or-nothing thinking.

Psychologists use the term "cognitive distortion" to refer to persistent exaggerated thoughts that are not in line with what is really going on. People who experience all-or-nothing thinking while trying to lose weight believe they are either a complete success or a total failure based on their food choices.

Studies show that an all-or-nothing thinking pattern is closely linked with a perceived lack of control over eating and an inability to maintain a healthy weight. Some researchers have likened this lack of control to Jekyll-and-Hyde-type behavior.

If you practice all-or-nothing thinking, you probably struggle to return to a healthy eating pattern after enjoying a small indulgence. Instead, you are likely to throw in the towel and overeat based on the assumption that your diet is a complete failure.

Negative Body Image

If you are trying to change your body size and shape, you may be less than satisfied with how it looks in its current state. Of course, there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve your health or your appearance. However, a negative body image can hinder your progress and damage your self-esteem.

For some people, a negative body image is tied to self-worth. They may think their worth is determined by body, shape, size, or food.

This can be an obstacle to success when trying to develop healthy eating habits or reach and maintain a healthy weight. In addition, a negative body image is linked with unhealthy eating patterns and other problems.

Those experiencing distressing preoccupations about weight and shape may also experience embarrassment in public, avoidance of activity due to self-consciousness, and excessive feelings of fatness after eating. They may focus on low-calorie foods instead of nutrient-rich ones and label foods as "good" or "bad".

It is unclear if a negative body image leads to unhealthy eating or if unhealthy eating leads to a negative body image. What is clear is that feeling an intense dissatisfaction with your body can stand in the way of reaching a healthy weight, and more importantly, damages your mental health and self-esteem.

Stress

There is a good reason for the descriptor of comfort food. For most people, eating feels good. And in times of stress, some use food as the best way to calm their emotions. While this occasional strategy is common in people of all body shapes and sizes, it can create problems if you are trying to lose weight or if eating is your only way to cope with stress.

And it's not just overeating that can be problematic. Your food choices are likely to change when you feel more anxious. You may eat more when stressed and more indulgent foods that you normally avoid for weight loss or health reasons (foods typically higher in calories and added sugar).

Lastly, when stressed your body produces more cortisol which can lead to weight gain. Many trying to lose weight while stressed may not see a change in their weight which is completely unrelated to their best efforts, but rather their body's stress response. Stress can be a giant roadblock for people trying to lose weight or get healthier.

Depression

Researchers are unclear if depression causes weight gain or if it prevents weight loss, but many scientists believe there is a link. And even among normal-weight people, depression can be problematic regarding weight.

In some, depression can lead to a lack of appetite and weight loss. Research suggests the perception of being overweight increases psychological distress and may lead to depression.

Depression-related symptoms like sleeplessness or fatigue can make weight loss more difficult. Some commonly prescribed antidepressants can cause weight gain as well. If you are experiencing depression, schedule an appointment with your doctor or mental health practitioner. Addressing your mental health is much more urgent than weight loss.

Tips to Overcome Barriers

You may have found that one or several common psychological barriers to weight loss look familiar to you. It is not unusual to experience multiple hurdles on your journey to a healthy weight. But these roadblocks don't need to prevent your success.

Each of these tips can address multiple psychological barriers to weight loss. These suggestions are also healthy strategies for lifelong wellness that carry no side effects and most are completely free. Consider giving one or more a try.

Keep a Journal

Avoiding stress is not always possible. But you can identify stress triggers and avoid certain situations or people who undermine your success. Keeping a journal may be helpful in the process, as research indicates keeping a journal can double your weight-loss results.

There are different ways to use fitness journals. For instance, you can log your food intake with a journal and use it to write your thoughts and identify stress triggers. Use the journal to keep track of any situations or foods that may feel triggering to you.

Make Small Changes

If all-or-nothing thinking prevents you from sticking to your food plan, consider taking small steps and setting short-term goals. First, identify one specific healthy change that is reasonable and attainable. Remind yourself that perfection is not the goal, but rather any attempt to nudge yourself in the right direction is progress that you should be proud of.

Choose to walk for 15 minutes after dinner each day for one week. Jot in your journal each day about ways you have succeeded in keeping your goal front of mind. Give yourself credit and remember that taking a small step is better than taking no action.

Small steps can also help you avoid too many changes at once. It can be easy to get overwhelmed and lose motivation. On the other hand, if you can make a small change with success, you will feel a sense of accomplishment, which motivates you to keep going.

Listen to Self-Talk

Do you pay attention to the messages you send to yourself throughout your day? These pervasive thoughts may be building a roadblock to your well-being.

Those prone to a negative body image may find themselves repeating negative messages about their body daily. Phrases like "I'm so fat" or "I'm so out of shape" said out loud or in your head can undermine your ability to take a healthy step when the opportunity presents itself.

Self-talk is another way that all-or-nothing thinking can manifest itself. For instance, you might beat yourself up for reaching unreasonably high standards or goals you set.

Take a week or two to listen to your inner dialogue. Identify one or two messages that may be encouraging a negative self-image and write them down. Challenge or replace these messages with a powerful mantra. Phrases such as "My body is strong," "I am enough," or "I have come a long way" are mantras that can boost confidence.

Learn Relaxation Techniques

If you can't avoid people or places that cause stress, relaxation techniques can be a healthy alternative for managing emotions during stressful times.

Scientists found a relaxation technique called guided imagery can help with weight loss. Work with a therapist to learn guided imagery or practice on your own. It takes some time to master, but guided imagery may be the most effective technique for weight loss if your emotions are causing you to eat during stressful times.

Prioritize Sleep

Researchers have repeatedly found a link between sleep habits, weight gain, and unhealthy eating behaviors. So, one of the most straightforward and relaxing steps to overcome psychological barriers is to improve your bedtime habits.

Try to go to bed at the same time each night, rise at the same time each morning, and make your bedroom a sleep sanctuary. Remove electronics (television, computer, smartphone charger) and do as much as you can to reduce noise.

Get light-blocking drapes or buy an inexpensive sleep mask so you experience total darkness. Some people also lower the thermostat to promote restful sleep.

Seek Help

Many experts are specially trained to deal with depression, past trauma, and other issues that may stand in the way of weight-loss success. You can find a​ behavioral health specialist skilled at treating underlying emotional causes of overeating and weight gain.

Your healthcare provider may be able to provide a referral. If not, there are other ways to find a therapist. The American Psychological Association offers resources to help consumers get the help they need, including a locator service to find practitioners in your area.

If circumstances prevent you from seeing a behavioral health specialist, consider one of the newly developed apps or tech tools that provide mental health counseling via text, Zoom, or FaceTime. These therapy services often offer relief for less than face-to-face counseling.

A Word From Verywell

If you are struggling to lose weight, any of these mental barriers to weight loss may be to blame. It is also possible that your body is already at a healthy weight and weight loss is unnecessary. So you may want to evaluate why you feel weight loss is necessary.

Use the psychology of weight loss for you rather than against. Consider why your roadblock or "wall" is in place, and take steps to get the help you need to reach and maintain a healthy weight.