Words of Encouragement for Labor and Delivery

Childbirth is hard, both physically and emotionally, and many people have to dig deep to find the necessary strength. Comfort in labor comes in many forms, though we often think about physical measures and pain-relieving medications. But another way to support a person in labor is by talking to them.

What you say to your partner or loved one can go a long way toward helping them cope. Whether they're having an unmedicated birth or getting an epidural, words of encouragement can make a huge difference in how they remember the experience of labor and delivery.

What to Say to a Person in Labor

Here, we rounded up several kind, uplifting, and supportive things to say to a person in labor. When choosing what to say, consider the birthing person's personality and their individual situation.

Hang in there!

This simple phrase provides a note of support without a lot of pressure. It's a very generic saying, but it can get you out of a bind if you're not sure what else to tell them.

You're doing a great job.

The birthing person may not believe you, even if it's true. Their experience of what's happening is probably much different than what you're seeing. This means they may feel out of control while they look calm and collected. Encouraging words can give them motivation to keep going.

I love you.

It might seem obvious, but the show of emotional vulnerability from a partner can mean a lot during this time. Remember to express your love often—something that doulas often suggest to their clients. Some partners report feeling an overwhelming sense of love as they watch labor progress, so this saying may come easily!

Think of the baby.

During the throes of childbirth, it's easy to focus on labor pain and forget the result: a little bundle of joy. To calm the birthing person, you can encourage them to picture the baby. You can also ask specific baby-related questions as a form of distraction: Do you think the baby will have a lot of hair? How much do you predict they'll weigh?

You're going to be a great parent.

Many expectant parents have fears, including what kind of caregiver they'll be. If they're concerned about this, find out their specific worries ahead of time, and work them into your words of encouragement during labor. For example, if your partner is scared they won't know what to do during the newborn stage, say "You and the baby will work together to learn what each other needs."

Amazing!

This is a nice, quick word to whisper into the birthing person's ear when they have low concentration levels, such as when contractions are coming quickly. You can use almost any single word with a similar meaning. Think: incredible, wow, great.

Keep going.

This is a nod of approval during a long labor, as in, "I know you're tired, but you're doing great, so keep going..." You may also consider saying something active, like: "You've got this!" A little personalization never hurts as well.

I'm here for you.

You're not leaving your loved one's side, so make sure they know it. Sometimes you may be physically separated by a birthing tub or medical personnel, and your voice can serve as a reminder that you're still present. There are also various ways to say this, including, "I'm not going anywhere" and I'm right here."

Just a little bit longer now.

Use this phrase only if you're reasonably sure that it's true. Otherwise, you lose your credibility. Ask a nearby professional for some help and know they're also guessing, too.

A word of caution: Don't look back on how far you've come. That may feel overwhelming to a person in labor. Just give a sneak peek of what's ahead: Tonight you're going to be snuggling your new baby!

You're doing it!

When the birthing person is pushing, this phrase can convey power and excitement. You can also help them see the baby via a mirror, or touch the baby's head as it emerges.