How to Write a Wedding Thank-You Card

The wedding might be over, but you can't put away your to-do list just yet. Once you've returned home from your honeymoon, it's time to write those wedding thank-you cards. Penning personal, thoughtful cards to everyone who attended your big day or sent a gift might seem like a daunting task, but we promise it's not as difficult as it seems. Plus, we can confirm that the faster you get them done and sent out, the happier you’ll be!

Before you start writing, it's important to understand the structure of a well-written note. According to etiquette expert Elaine Swann, founder of The Swann School of Protocol, a great thank-you note has just three essential elements. "You should say thank you, name the gift, and say something about the gift. That’s it!" she explains. Easy, right?

If you're still feeling overwhelmed and uncertain, we've compiled our best tips, to-dos, and thank-you card wording examples to help you with every possible gifting scenario. Use this handy guide as you work through your first few thank-you notes, and then feel free to follow whatever format you find works best.

Thank-You Card Preparation Tips

Writing a thank-you note isn't as simple as grab a stack of cards, postage, and your gift list. There's a little legwork that needs to be done in advance. Here, we're sharing our preparation tips that you can follow to ensure the writing process goes smoothly.

Get Organized in Advance

As you get ready to send out your wedding invitations, you'll need to create a spreadsheet with all of your guests name with their addresses. Keep this document handy and update it as addresses or names change (some of your guests might be getting married, too!); then, when it's time to send thank-you notes, you have everyone's information readily available. To make things even easier, add a column to track any gifts each guest gave you and another for notes. If they wrote you a particularly meaningful card or you shared a special moment during the reception, you can note those details here for easy reference later.

Another important detail to add your spreadsheet? A column where you can note if a thank-you note has been sent out.

Be Ready to Start Right Away

Some guests will send gifts ahead of the wedding, so consider writing those thank-you notes as soon as the presents arrive. Swann says that this approach will help you to avoid an overwhelming avalanche of work later on.

Have a System for Opening and Noting the Presents

We know that opening gifts—especially in bulk—can be such an exhilarating experience that the instinct is to tear through them, but we recommend being methodical and taking note of each present as you open it to avoid losing or mixing senders' info. You'll thank us later. You and your partner should sit down to open the presents together, and one of you should be responsible for noting what each box contains and exactly who it is from. Where you keep track of this information is up to you, but we'll always advocate for keeping it in the same spreadsheet as your addresses.

Work in Batches

After the wedding, expect to have a ton of gifts and a lot of thanking to do. The best way to tackle this seemingly never-ending task? Write the notes in batches. Schedule an hour or two each day to work on a number of cards to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Share the Workload

Divvy up this task with your partner as much as possible to keep from overburdening one party. Split up recipients based on who knows the guest better. Pro tip: Reward yourselves post-task with a romantic night in to make the activity feel less like a chore!

Keep Your Stationery on Theme

"A good idea is to find thank-you cards that follow suit with the theme of the wedding," advises Swann. If you have the budget, it's nice to order customized stationery in the same style of your wedding invitations, complete with a matching motif, monogram, or logo. If not, don't fret. "Just find something that matches the theme, color, or style of your wedding," Swann adds.

Thank-You Card Etiquette

Not all thank-you notes are created equal. To ensure that your notes express your gratitude, here are some proper writing etiquette practices to follow.

Handwrite the Notes

Make sure your notes are handwritten and, according to Swann, not printed out and then signed. Even if your invitations were sent digitally, avoid sending digital thank-you notes as much as possible.

Include All Names in the Gift

Double-check who's signed on the gift card. If the card is signed by a couple, make sure to write down both of their names in your note, even if you're only acquainted with one of them.

Be Specific

Include specifics about the item in your thank-you notes, such as what you like about it or how you intend to enjoy it. For example, do you look forward to making brunch with your new waffle iron? Write that down.

This kind of specificity makes the notes feel a lot more personal and sincere. The same goes for monetary gifts. "When thanking people for the gift of money, it’s important for you to put the exact amount that they gave you," says Swann, debunking myths that you shouldn't specify the amount you received. The reason for this is twofold, she says. "You're letting them know you received the money, and you're verifying how much you received." This is especially helpful if the money was transferred digitally or sent via post to give senders peace of mind.

Promptly Send Out Cards

Swann advises couples to mail their thank-you cards as early as a week after the wedding. If you've written out cards in batches, send them out in batches too! No need to wait until each and every gift is accounted for. If you receive a gift before the wedding, go ahead and send a prompt thank-you. "The thank-you note is for the gift itself," Swann explains. "Although it was intended for the wedding, you’re saying thank you for the gift." So send those notes out right away.

Some photographers include free thank-you notes as part of their wedding package. If this is the case for you, it's understandable to have a bit of a wait. Just clarify the timelines with your photographer so you know when to expect the customized thank-you notes. Your guests will understand and will love the special touch!

Components to Include in a Thank-You Note

Wedding thank-you notes are pretty simple in terms of what is included in the card. As Swann mentions above, there are three core components:

1. Say "thank you": Perhaps the most important (and obvious) element of the card, you should put your "thank you" front and center so the guests know exactly what this card is for.
2. Name the gift: Make sure that you mention what the gift was, to ensure they know you received their gift.
3. Say something about the gift: This could include why you love it so much, a description of where in the house you're planning to put it, or how you're going to use it—and why it means so much to you as a couple!
   

What to Write in a Wedding Thank-You Card

If you’ve got a case of writer’s block about what to write in a wedding thank-you card, here are a few sample notes for common gifting scenarios to get those creative juices flowing.

For People Who Bought a Gift From Your Registry

Pro tip: It’s something you wanted, so mention how much you love it and that you plan to use it all the time.

Dear [Guest's Name],
Thank you so much for the espresso machine! [Partner's Name] and I have become serious coffee fiends, and we are excited to be able to make our own drinks at home. We’d love to have you over for brunch soon so you can see it in action! Thank you again for being a part of our wedding day.
Best,
[Your Name(s)]

For People Who Gave a Monetary Gift

Pro tip: As with physical gifts, let them know how you’ll use the cash!

Dear [Guest's Name],
Thank you so much for celebrating our wedding day with us! [Partner's Name] and I were thrilled with your generous and thoughtful gift of $100. Thanks to you, we were able to book the cooking class we’d had our eye on for our honeymoon. Looking forward to seeing you over the holidays!
Love,
[Your Name(s)]

For People Who You Don't Know Well

Pro tip: Mention the person you know in common.

Dear [Guest's Name],
Thank you for the gorgeous crystal bowl. It will look absolutely beautiful on our coffee table. It was so lovely to see you at the wedding—my mother always speaks so fondly of you, and [Partner's Name] and I were so happy to finally meet you in person!
Sincerely,
[Your Name(s)]

For People Who Gave You an Unfamiliar Item

Pro tip: Focus on the giver, rather than the mystery gift. If possible, include a fond memory with them during the wedding.

Dear [Guest's Name],
Thank you again for being a part of our big day, as well as for the wonderful wedding gift. It means so much that you traveled so far to celebrate with us. [Partner's Name] and I feel lucky to count you as our friends!
Best,
[Your Name(s)]

For People Who Shared in a Group Gift

Pro tip: Send individual notes to each person, but give a shout-out to the whole group.

Dear [Guest's Name],
Thank you so much for the wine fridge. It will definitely be getting a lot of use in our new home! We are so lucky to have friends who know us so well, and we can’t wait to have you all over to open a bottle or two!
Warmly,
[Your Name(s)]

For People Who Got You a Gift You Don't Love (or Will Exchange)

Pro tip: No need to rave about the gift if you don't like it, but do find something positive to say!

Dear [Guest's Name],
[Partner's Name] and I want to thank you for the wooden salad bowl. The organic design is so beautiful, and the carved salad servers are the perfect finishing touch. You have great taste! We are so happy you were able to make it to our wedding—thanks for holding down the fort on the dance floor!
Sincerely,
[Your Name(s)]

For People Who Couldn't Attend but Sent a Gift

Pro tip: Mention how much you wish they could have been there.

Dear [Gifter's Name],
Thank you so much for the set of wine glasses. It was so kind of you to think of us! [Partner's Name] and I wish you could have been there on our wedding day—it wasn’t the same without you. We’re looking forward to more opportunities to celebrate together in the future!
Love,
[Your Name(s)]

For People Who Traveled to See You

Pro tip: Even if they didn't give you a physical gift, you should thank them for making the trip.

Dear [Guest's Name],
Thank you so much for making the trip to celebrate our special day. It meant so much to [Partner's Name] and I that you traveled all the way from Paris just for us. We hope you had as much fun as we did!
Love,
[Your Name(s)]

For Those Who Were in Your Wedding Party

Pro tip: Whether or not they gave a gift, be sure to thank them anyway for the role they played on your special day.

Dear [Member of Wedding Party],
Thank you so much for being a [Role] in our wedding party. You mean so much to [Partner's name] and I. Having you by our side throughout this process and on our wedding day made it all the more special. We can't wait to share more meaningful experiences with you!
Love,
[Your Name(s)]

For Your Parents

Pro tip: Mention a special moment you had in your note.

Dear [Parents' Names],
Thank you so much for being a part of our big day and for the love and support you've given [Partner's Name] and I. Our wedding wouldn't have been the same without you. I will always cherish the heartfelt toast you gave. We can't wait to build a future together as a family.
Love,
[Your Name(s)]

For Your Wedding Suppliers

Pro tip: Thank your vendors for their specific contribution to your wedding.

Dear [Supplier's Name],
[Partner's Name] and I want to thank you for the beautiful photographs you took at our wedding. We will treasure them always. We are so pleased you were part of our wedding. You definitely helped bring our vision to life.
Sincerely,
[Your Name(s)]

For Your Attendees

Pro tip: Thank each and every attendee, even if they didn't bring a gift. Include an anecdote from the wedding to make it more personal.

Dear [Guest's Name],
[Partner's Name] and I are so grateful you could make it to our wedding. Your presence made our day extra special. We especially loved seeing you dance to the Spice Girls! We hope you enjoyed our day as much as we did!
Sincerely,
[Your Name(s)]